Klamath Rises

Journal Entry 3
Chet Lemon

Okay, right. What the fuck? Where to begin? I was pretty down on myself for sudo-killing Jim this week. I got less done than I had in mind. I went in deep to my escape. I took whatever came my way for a few days and almost got Ben and myself killed. I met Traveler K, or whatever though. She’s not super nice but from what I remember she basically confirmed that Jim was dead, but not really. He’s stuck in the realm of lost travelers or the shadow realm or something. That seems to me like he could very-well be un-stuck. No one else seems to agree with me but I am beginning to think I may know more about what is going on than everyone else so, fuck em. Jack doesn’t even remember he has a brother anymore so pressure is off on that front, but the man is still missing. Still, I need to figure this out. How am I going to get to Jim and most importantly, how I am getting us both the hell out of there, hell that is.

I spoke with Selby and she didn’t know shit really in this regard. Always a pleasure visiting willow though so I can’t complain to much. That girl and Hannah got a way to make a man forget about, well most everything, for a time at least. Anyway, bust there. I stole that Trabler chicks number from Ben and she knew more but was a real pessimist about the whole thing. See, the way she tells it a Traveler ends up in the shadow realm when he tries to go someplace that doesn’t exist. But well, if the shadow realm exists then they are definitely going someplace and I figure if I can ride a rainbow bridge on the back of an elk-person I can damn well get to some spooky shadow place.

Some other shit went down though. While I was moping about feeling sorry for myself in my field I saw that fuckin chineese ghost again, being all ghosty. This time the dude saw me though and I chased his ass down a hole in the mountain. Don’t ask me why there was a hole in the mountain, I don’t fucking know. Nor did I find the ghost or where he was going. I met this HUGE asshole down there. Dude was like a man-bear-pig with glowing red eyes. You know the one I met last week. Dude wouldn’t let me past him and he wouldn’t answer my questions either. Dick seems to think he is protecting me or whatever but he’s really just being a fuckin tool. How am I supposed to fight all this spooky bullshit if I don’t know what the hell it is. Then when I went back the prick had laid out a bunch of bear-traps. For real?! What kind of asshole just has bear-traps lying around. Then he has the nerve to tear-gass me not once but twice. RA was spooked out by him but I’m not letting some homeless jackass keep me from finding out what’s going on here. I’m getting past that dude or I’m kicking his ass out of my way. Kevin’s in.

Anyway, I got most of my field moved into our basement with a little help from RA. Who woulda thought? Other than that little bit though the week was pretty uneventful. I mean RA is going after radio-chick and their going to make a cute little fortune-telling couple but that’s hardly spooky. Anyway, after the burn-out that week became I manage to rally Kevin and get Kennedy to give us a ride into town for the ceremony or whatever. I thought I was going to get some answers you know but I guess that comes later.

So the ceremony. There were a bunch of indians there and apparently a bunch of Kevin’s people and they were all doing this and that. After a bit of glad handing and whatever they gave me a robe and had me strip down. I guess you can’t learn how to turn into a man-monster while wearing pants. The shaman gave some sort of long speech in not-english and when I tried to get indian-adam to translate he shushed me. Must not have been important, or maybe that was just Adam being a dick. W/e. Then shaman bro led us out to a sauna tent and got us all high on some native psychedelics which was pretty cool. There was some sort of creepy elk-lady there but she wasn’t speaking english either so… idk. Kevin, the other few students and I mostly just hung out until the drugs started to kick in. Indiadam was being a bit of a dick so I started to fuck with him as we started getting into it, that did not go over well with him. We got in a bit of a slap-fight and then Kevin beaned him in the head with a piece of wood, which was fuckin hilarious. Indiadam didn’t much like it though. Dude freaked. Turned into a giant bear-guy like I did a few weeks ago and looked about to murder me but then, now hear me out, a spirit bear stomped his uptight ass. Can’t be going batshit during a spirit quest I guess. The spirit-bear then looked at me while Indiadam bleed out on the floor. I tried to get around him so I could help the poor bastard but the bear seemed to want something from me. We had a moment and then I, again bear with me snicker, then I reached into the spirit bears face and took out a handful of…something. Yeah, I’m going with something. Anyway, I smeared it all over Indiadam’s face and he seemed to get a bit better. I on the other hand.

I was once again a man-bear-monster and was no longer in the same sauna as everyone else. Or I suppose I was but, not really. I don’t know man, it’s magic. Anyway I was starving from all the going ons or whatever and determined it is very difficult to get a candy-bar open with giant bear-mits. I got help and mostly just sat around as a bear-person until Kevin came showed back up as a sasquatch. Fuckin, job done. The shaman told us not to tell anyone not in the school and told us to leave. He still had the others to get figured I guess. I’m going back later dude needs to answer some questions for me. Anyway, we got free pie for being awesome and then rode the rainbow bridge elk back to school.

We got back before Kennedy and them and were eating pie in the kitchen in our skins when everyone was all “No way, you’re just high” “You can’t do that” and whatever. Like, I don’t understand how many times I have to prove these people wrong but this time it was easy. They all followed us outside and damn near pissed themselves when Kevin and I morphed. I think that damn near may have been reality for Kennedy though cause he split. Whatever man. Kevin and I fucked around a bit more at home, had a bit of a yell with Bob, then we threw a tommy bahama shirt on monkey-kevin and went out to party. What else are you supposed to do on a night like that. Now Kevin and I are proper super-people we can start beating some answers out of this fuckin place.

Journal Entry 2
Chet Lemon

So, yeah. I was so right about the spooky shit but I had no idea! This will be a longer one. I don’t think… I can’t. I don’t know what is what anymore and the more I learn the less I know. Something is happening here and I do not know how I feel about it. Let me start where I left off.

So, Saturday I spent in a daze out in the field, trying to make sense of things, smoking and writing my last journal entry. With all the crazy shit of last friday put to ease in my mind I began to have a think. That wasn’t doing me any good though so the next day I went to Willow house to talk with Selby. That’s like a threefer, hot chicks, weed, and answers all rolled into one.

Selby was pretty cool about the whole thing, told me straight up the willow girls were actually the willow witches and then told me some story tale about the magic apples and the trojans. Anyway, the point is that these apples make us manifest our latent abilities or whatever. Like, everyone has abilities or something. She didn’t know shit about carnivorous rocks though. Ohh! She also told me about some guy named Jack woke up without an ass, man. Like it was bite off. You know, like Kevin’s ass should be. Turns out kennedy is like socialist jesus or something and stole Jack’s ass and gave it to Kevin. Dick. Anyway, I hung out and chatted and flirted for the rest of the afternoon before heading to disc golf.

Monday I had a plan, so I crashed fairy tale class. Turns out Nick is in Fairy Tale class, which figures cause Sick Girl is in it. I didn’t pay much attention mostly just made covert encouraging gestures at Nick towards Flower Girl and doodled. After the class though I had a chat with Ms, uhh…fairy tale teacher. She didn’t know a whole lot about what’s going on for someone who claims to know all the fairy tales but she did tell me that I might be able to get some answers from an indian. She didn’t really specify which indian so I figured any should do. Anyway, then I had my own class to get to so I headed off to Edible Botany. I got in an argument with Jim about magic apples that eventually brought the teacher in. They both thought the magic apples were crazy, as usual. We would see what Jim really thought at practice.

So the next day I brought my last magic apple to Jim and bet him he wouldn’t eat it. He bitched about it going brown around the carving and being painted and blah, blah, blah. I called him a wuss and he bit into it. And vanished. His brother Jack came running over and we had a brief panic before I got Jack to call Jim. Turns out Jim teleported to the roof all the way across the field and the road. Teleported! Thats some cool shit, or I thought so then anyway. I’m not so sure now. Anyway, Jim was pretty shook by the whole teleportation thing and went to his dorm so we called practice early. I told Jack he should find out what his power was, he gave me that look. You know the one.

With frisbee done early I had a bit of light left in the day so I went on over to the goat master, or whatever you call him. I got to the pen and had to wander about a bit before I found someone in one of the pen. Maybe not the goat master but he seemed friendly enough with them. I asked him if he had all his goats. To which the man eyed me suspiciously and confirmed he did. I asked if he was sure. He was. I asked about the wolves and if the ever got any of them. There are no wolves in California. Thanks man, lotta help he was.

Wednesday I had a mission. Speak to an Indian, like a shaman or whatever. Also, acquire pie. I did the obvious first and longboarded down to the dinner. Pie meters back on full I went to the Indian place. It was like a trailer, had two people in. They mostly stared at me and told me they couldn’t think of any shaman types. Ain’t nothing they can do. Never heard of carnivorous rocks. We’re sorry your friend got his ass bit off. Anyway, I retreated and came up with a new plan. I went to the bigger nicer Indian place. Here I was stared at by many more Indians, like many more. The receptionist here did not seem any more forthcoming but she did sell me a museum ticket. Then everyone stared at me as I went into the museum.

I wandered about for a bit. Lots of bears, the Klamath symbols. No names on anything, some pretty neat stuff but nothing spooky. I made sure to walk past the entry hall everyone and then to do a bit of staring myself. I had decided to skip the middleman. I was looking for a shaman, I figured they would have like feathers or a medicine bag or something, shouldn’t be hard to spot. There wasn’t any of that. There was someone though. There was an old man, across the way up on a balcony with some bookshelves. He was watching me. Well, everyone was watching me but he was like REALLY watching me. There was a sign that said employees only so I wandered the museum a while longer to come up with a clever plan to sneak past it.

Ten minutes later I just walked over and began to climb up. I couldn’t come up with a clever plan okay. So the Indians of the corn stare and start to warn me off but the old fella gives them the old ‘shut the hell up’ gesture and I climb up. No feathers or nothing, just a worn old man in a button up and jeans face and hands creased with age. We wandered over to a chair and say without saying a word. I sat across from him and then just asked him if he knew what I was. He did, man did he know. Turns out I’m a gurowl, a werebear and Kevin’s some sort of monkey. So was the old man, a bear not a monkey that is. He and his people had been protecting the world from Klamath for generations. Klamath the loch Ness monster, not the school. Apparently the loch Ness monster was attracting gifted kids to Klamath to awaken their powers for whatever reason. Kind of like professor xavier but with more giant spooky sea monster. He also told me there is a pack of crazy man-wolves living on the mountain. So Klamath in one end, crazy wolves on another and the school right in the middle. Not to mention the mummy and the ass-chomping rocks that no one seems to know about.

The old man told me not much in the long run, not even his name. Just spelled out all the terrible things about to descend on my new home and told me to come back on the new moon so he can turn me into a bear and actually explain some stuff. Yes, I could bring Kevin if I wanted to. So I left. I went out to my field and had a little panic. I wanted to move them out of the shadow of the man-beasts but to where? I needed to think on it, but I left a note for the other Gardner and headed back towards the school. On the way I saw a Chinese man walking around the woods, I gave chase, for no particular reason but he vanished. Then I saw him again a bit later and again. Again and again. Don’t know what’s going on there, don’t want to. I went to bed. Or I tried anyway, my mind had far too much on it to make sleep easy but luckily enough we all passed out at midnight as per usual…

I woke up the next morning to a new day but my mind was still heavy with the weight of new information I didn’t really want to know. No going back now though so I went through my usual detox routine at this point. I smoked and wandered off to Willow house to chat and flirt with Selby. Selby was as always enthused to hear all the things the Shaman told me, though she argued that Loch Ness Klamath might be a force for good, giving out powers to the common folk like it was. But really she didn’t know any more about the beast than I did so we were just blowing smoke in the wind. We chatted for awhile until I got my mind settled back into place, then she had like a coven meeting or something so I split. Jim didn’t show up to Edible Botany that day. When I went looking for him I only managed to find Jack. Jack had discovered his power, he bent a spoon with his mind like that bald kid in the matrix and promptly resisted all my urging to hang out and try bending some other shit with his mind. To each their own I suppose. The rest of the day went by fairly normal.

Friday, man what can be said about friday. We started our house meeting with everyone acting all high and mighty and looking at me like I was some sort of drugged out conspiracy theory nut. Which I suppose I was, but they had seen things also and had no right. Well I got to tell them all I told you so before the night was through. Kennedy and Ra went off to talk about responsible shit or something and the rest of us discovered we had a basement, so naturally we escaped while we could and went to check it out. The basement is cool and I have plans for it but the really cool part is the like sewer system it hooks up to. It’s all dark and creepy and covered in eldritch writing, but when a man-wolf-bear thing tells you to leave with its eyes all glowy you do. So back topside Nick, Ben and I were arguing about the monster and the constructs or whatever he warned us about when Ben just flat vanished. Now I had experience here so I calmed down Nick enough for him to call Big Ben and find out where he went. Sure enough, just like Jim, he was off on a nearby roof. Traveler, and one who lived in my house. There would be no escaping for him. I settled in to bug the shit out of him until he teleported me somewhere with him, because how cool would that be, right?

So I mostly just followed Ben around jumping on his back and taunting him about england. We went to Willow to talk about writing or something and then started back to hemlock. About halfway back my taunting seemed to take effect because I fell from riding piggy-back and landed on my ass on the sidewalk. Rude! I saw that big bastard over on the Alder roof though so I took off after him. Then things got weird, well weirder… Nick caught me half-way and told me Brian was a robot-construct-thing and we stopped in front of Alder to discuss how we were going to handle that. We were pretty settled on jumping him and were going to go get Ben to help when Kennedy headed us off at the path. He was bitching about something or other and called a house meeting… sigh

So yeah, Brian was a fleshy-robot-thing sent to spy on us by the RA of Peckerwood. Like I said before those dudes are into some weird shit. But as they are questioning him about his purpose or whatever I realized the man had the same look on his face that Doc got when trying to rationalize my crazy. So, I blurted it out, I guess I was tired of beating around the bush. Whatever, Kennedy went a bit crazy and then eventually, for some reason I can’t begin to fathom though granted I wasn’t paying a lot of attention, RA decided he finally wanted to share what was in his book. You know in front of the two robo-spies sent by the biggest dicks on campus. That’s a winning move, I didn’t bother to stop him, kennedy might have tried to shout me down also and I am not sure that would have gone well for either of us after the week I’d had. Turns out his notebooks were just more of the same crazy non-sense that seemed to bleed from this campus. We argued and discussed until midnight, when we woke up in bed, as usual. I was fairly used to this by now so I just sat there and had a smoke but then Jim showed up… Jim, who had no eyes. Jim, who smacked around Kennedy and hunted down Big Ben. Jim, whom I pressured into discovering his powers… I think I may have killed Jim. I, I don’t know. I can’t. It doesn’t make any sense… but he was definitely not Jim any longer. I don’t know what happened but it was my fault. Fuck the mummy, fuck Klamath and fuck all this other spooky shit. Jim is in some deep shit, and I don’t know how to help him.

Journal Entry 1
Chet Lemon
Right so, there is some spooky shit going on and I don’t know what to do. Ra is always written stuff in that little book of his so ..uhh me too.

So first there was the mummy. You know, old dried up dead guy just so happened to be on the roof. Fuck knows how or why it got there but Kevin and I, Kevin is my roomy, Kevin and I tell that Ivy chick that there is a mummy and she tells us to split. She will take care of the mummy and Flower girl who passed out at the sight of the previously mentioned mummy. But Nothing happens you know? All quiet on the Alder front. And now if you ask Ivy or Flower girl about the mummy they don’t know what your talking about. They ain’t lying. They. Do. Not. Know. They get that look on their face like I’m crazy. Trust me I know the look.

So this mummy laid some powerful mind juju on the girls but that’s not all man. Later that night there is this howly, earthquake and the red northern lights start drifting about in the sky. Doc tells me the Northern lights aren’t supposed to be this far south. Or you know, red. And then the lights come flowing down and settle all over the school but not on us in hemlock. Mind hodoo man. All the while some spooky fishermen are headed out to see to hunt the lock ness monster or something. I don’t know man, to much shit for one day. I woke up in bed…

Right so fast forward two weeks or so. I go to class, meet my teachers and stuff. Went to town with some other students for some groceries and had THE BEST pie, I brought some back for the inauguration-weekend potluck. Ordered a few things on amazon. Not much cityscape here so I’m going to learn slack-line walking. Got my teacher to help me grab some bees from some guys shed. I slapped the hive in the local garden, I’ll have to keep an eye on it since it’s winter. Found myself a field to contribute to, joined the disc-golf club. You know, pretty normal first few weeks at college aside from that first day. Right? Well unless you tried to stay up past midnight…

Well Friday the 13th wasn’t a fan of the return to normalcy man. So after a house meeting where Kennedy insists we have to talk about the curse of the mummy but refuses to believe in said mummy, I gather the boys and Kevin, Doc, New Guy and I head off to Willow. The Willow girls are having a Friday the 13th party and I am not going to miss that man. We say hey to Selby and break to mingle or whatever. New guy goes in way to deep and I find a circle to hang with. Anyway sometime after Kennedy shows up, Some of the Willow chicks and I remember it’s the full moon. I figure peckerwood is close by and we ought to go make a bunch of unnecessary noise. So here we are howling at the moon and fuckin wolves howl back. Like actual wolves man, I’ve heard them in Yellowstone. Now that’s some cool shit. As I’m going around telling everyone Doc finds me and makes me an offer I’m not going to refuse. The remainder of my night is suspect.

The way I remember it, I turned into a bear, like a figurative bear. Anyway, Kevin and I went to break into peckerwood to steal their picnic baskets and well, because their peckerwood. But while Kevin’s on the roof he sees Peckerwood shaving Docs corpse or something and freaks out, which you know, freaks me out as I am no longer of a stable mind this evening. We try to save doc but Peckerwood is like fort knox or some shit so we have to beat it. Docs alright turns out so… IDK Peckerwood has some weird fetish or something. Anyway new guy is regaining consciousness on a couch when we get back to willow and he tells Kevin about some ‘special apples’ they have upstairs. Now I didn’t think Kevin was into ‘special’ stuff because he wasn’t drinking or smoking or nothing, maybe dudes just real into fruit or something. We go upstairs to raid willows golden apples. Heh. Right so after Kevin drags me out of the sex room we find them.

The way I remember it, I turned into a bear, like a literal bear. Not only that but Kevin turns into a big feet. Now I’ve done a great many psychedelics. This wasn’t any fancy designed drug nonsense. We shape shifted. So like, wtf. We pop back into people shape and run off to show witnesses. It doesn’t work again, of course. I’ll tell you what it does do though. Embiggens the shit out of goats. Now, I was pretty stoned, had eaten some mushrooms, had literally shape-shifted, and probably ate a bit too much paint. This is my reasoning for riding said goat off into the night, I did not say it was good reasoning but you know what you say. When you grab a goat by the horns …uhh ride it? What can I say, wouldn’t you?

So the goat runs off and gets eaten by the loch ness monster or something and I am trying to explain this shit to Big Ben when peckerwood retaliates for our previous break in attempt and validations. They throw a rock monster at us… a fucking rock monster! Where do you even get a rock monster? It tries to eat my face then bites Kevin’s ass clean off. Kennedy and I bag the rock in a trashcan and New guy decides now’s a good time to clean up the rest of dinner and adds the leftover chili to the mix. I leave Kennedy to deal with Kevin and run to huck the monster into the river, maybe the loch ness monster will eat it too. Then I wake up in bed and Ra wrestled with a ghost or something and now it’s morning…

I don’t know what’s going on at this creepy ass school but it’s spooky as hell and I’m going to find out. Then maybe get some more magic bear apples and kick the shit out of the mummy.

Entry 2

Entry 2
Susie and I broke up. Said we “Didn’t have a future together” since I wasn’t going to college. Said we could still talk and be friends and maybe try again later if I ever got out of here.

Fuck her, whatever. At least I’ve got a job to support myself when it comes down to it. Who even NEEDS a degree past high school.

She said she was going to be moving out of state to go to college. Whatever. Makes it easier for me to forget her. We live in fuckin middle of nowhere. I don’t see her making it out there. None of us will. No point.

Parents said I could move out into the spare building near the trinket shop if I wanted. I might take them up on it for now. They’ve been hovering. Dad’s delighted that I’m stuck here with them. Now they can continue on their ‘legacy’. Whatever, like I know half the shit they sell is a bunch of fakes. Nobody REALLY believes this shit aside from us.

Its all just a gimmick to them.


Kevin Campbell

Kevin's Journal
Entry 1-The Beginning of Forever

Entry 1?

Councelor told me to make one of these. I don’t wanna’ call it a diary, I think the better term is a journal? I don’t know, English ain’t my majoy at all. Honestly nothing is now that I think about it. Except football. But I fucked that up.

Football is over, so’s school. Don’t see the point of moving on from that right now. I’ll be picking up shifts at my parent’s tourist trap shops. Hopefully that’ll give me time to figure out what I want to do next. Maybe give everyone time to forget about my accident.

Hopefully they forget. God I hope they forget.

I’m never going to live this down am I?

I’m going to be here forever aren’t I?

Kevin Campbell

Chet Lemon

Chet came into the house through the side kitchen door laughing with his friend Kevin about one of those things that only teenagers seem to find funny. “Hey Laurie.” He said as he waved halfheartedly to his step-mother who was busy cooking something up at the stove. “Smells good, man.”
Laurie gave him a tight little smile and said “Hello boys, Chet your father is in his office, he wants to talk to you about something.”
Chet exchanged a wary glance with Kevin “Yeah? You know what he is on about?” he asked.
“Something came in the mail and got him worked up into one of his moods, you know how he gets”.
“Shit man…” Chet muttered as he tasted the sauce his step-mother was preparing on the stove.
“Language Chester!” His step-mother admonished as she swatted his hand away from the pot. “And don’t spoil your appetite, dinner will be ready soon!”
Chet exchanged grins again with Kevin and said “Go wait for me in the garage man, I’ll be right down once I deal with the old man” He and Kevin exchanged an overly-complicated handshake and Kevin headed for the garage stairs. “Thanks Laurie. Guess, I better get this over with” Chet muttered as he headed in the opposite direction, towards the stairs up.

“…and this is the last straw! I have given you chance after chance after chance…” His father yelled on and on as he stood behind his desk waving the latest rejection letter about. This would make twelve, one for each school Chet had applied to. Chet sighed as he sat in one of the plush office chairs across from his father and stared out the window, fingering the thirteenth letter in his hoodie pocket. His father’s office had a splendid view of the San Francisco Bay, with their house perched in Presidio Heights as it was. Chet watched the little boats flit back and forth across the water while container ship made its slow way towards the docks.
“Well?!” His father’s voice came crashing back in on him. “Not going to say anything for yourself?” His father asked, voice dripping with menace, as he leaned over his desk, rejection letter crushed in his hand.
Chet put on his most vacant face before looking back at his father and asking “What man?” That set him back off again and Chet went back to looking out the window letting his father’s shouts wash over him as he considered.

He felt the seal embossed on the envelope in his pocket. He hadn’t applied to Klamath College, he hadn’t even known it existed but he had been accepted there. Refused from the schools he actually applied for and accepted to one he hadn’t even heard of. The letter hadn’t come to his home either, the postman had found him hanging out with his friends in Golden Gate Park, smoking and kicking the hacky-sack around. The man had just walked up out of the trees in his postman blues and asked “Are you Chester Flynn Lemon?”. When Chet had just stared at him and nodded, he had handed over the letter and said “Congratulations” before walking back the way he had come. There was no address on the letter, just his full name and the seal of Klamath College. Chet had peered after the man, confused, until his friend had hit him with the hacky sack. The school existed though, the website was pretty much like any other university website he had seen, but with a huge bent towards human ecology. He hadn’t even heard of human ecology before today but it seemed pretty rad. And really what else did he have to lose, it was the only school that had actually accepted him.
Chet tuned back into the here and now as his father was winding down once again “…and don’t you think for a second I will support you any longer than I have to, if you throw your future and your grandfather’s trust away by not going to college you are cut-off!” The trust wouldn’t get thrown away, just donated to a charity but they were much the same to his father’s point of view.
Chet sighed and leaned forward, pulling the letter out of his sweater and tossing it on his father’s desk in front of him “I got accepted to Klamath University” he said as he leaned back in his chair. “Winter semester starts in a two months.”
“Klamath?!” His father exclaimed as he snatched up the letter “Never heard of it.” Chet went back to staring out the window as his father tore the letter out of the envelope and began to read it. His father snorted about half-way through, muttering “liberal arts…” as he continued to read. Chet smiled and watched the ships, The school had actually looked really cool, multiple greenhouses and gardens, right on the coast, a two to one girl to guy ratio, and a progressive stance on environmentalism. It was like someone had custom built it for him. He hoped for all he was worth it wasn’t some elaborate prank.
His father grunted “Huh, guess it’s better than nothing.” He said as he tossed the letter back onto his desk. “Can’t fathom why they would want a layabout like you though.” Chet looked back at his father with a sardonic smile on his face, Klamath or Humboldt or SDSU, whatever got him out of his father’s house soonest.


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