Klamath Rises

Journal Entry 1
Chet Lemon
Right so, there is some spooky shit going on and I don’t know what to do. Ra is always written stuff in that little book of his so ..uhh me too.

So first there was the mummy. You know, old dried up dead guy just so happened to be on the roof. Fuck knows how or why it got there but Kevin and I, Kevin is my roomy, Kevin and I tell that Ivy chick that there is a mummy and she tells us to split. She will take care of the mummy and Flower girl who passed out at the sight of the previously mentioned mummy. But Nothing happens you know? All quiet on the Alder front. And now if you ask Ivy or Flower girl about the mummy they don’t know what your talking about. They ain’t lying. They. Do. Not. Know. They get that look on their face like I’m crazy. Trust me I know the look.

So this mummy laid some powerful mind juju on the girls but that’s not all man. Later that night there is this howly, earthquake and the red northern lights start drifting about in the sky. Doc tells me the Northern lights aren’t supposed to be this far south. Or you know, red. And then the lights come flowing down and settle all over the school but not on us in hemlock. Mind hodoo man. All the while some spooky fishermen are headed out to see to hunt the lock ness monster or something. I don’t know man, to much shit for one day. I woke up in bed…

Right so fast forward two weeks or so. I go to class, meet my teachers and stuff. Went to town with some other students for some groceries and had THE BEST pie, I brought some back for the inauguration-weekend potluck. Ordered a few things on amazon. Not much cityscape here so I’m going to learn slack-line walking. Got my teacher to help me grab some bees from some guys shed. I slapped the hive in the local garden, I’ll have to keep an eye on it since it’s winter. Found myself a field to contribute to, joined the disc-golf club. You know, pretty normal first few weeks at college aside from that first day. Right? Well unless you tried to stay up past midnight…

Well Friday the 13th wasn’t a fan of the return to normalcy man. So after a house meeting where Kennedy insists we have to talk about the curse of the mummy but refuses to believe in said mummy, I gather the boys and Kevin, Doc, New Guy and I head off to Willow. The Willow girls are having a Friday the 13th party and I am not going to miss that man. We say hey to Selby and break to mingle or whatever. New guy goes in way to deep and I find a circle to hang with. Anyway sometime after Kennedy shows up, Some of the Willow chicks and I remember it’s the full moon. I figure peckerwood is close by and we ought to go make a bunch of unnecessary noise. So here we are howling at the moon and fuckin wolves howl back. Like actual wolves man, I’ve heard them in Yellowstone. Now that’s some cool shit. As I’m going around telling everyone Doc finds me and makes me an offer I’m not going to refuse. The remainder of my night is suspect.

The way I remember it, I turned into a bear, like a figurative bear. Anyway, Kevin and I went to break into peckerwood to steal their picnic baskets and well, because their peckerwood. But while Kevin’s on the roof he sees Peckerwood shaving Docs corpse or something and freaks out, which you know, freaks me out as I am no longer of a stable mind this evening. We try to save doc but Peckerwood is like fort knox or some shit so we have to beat it. Docs alright turns out so… IDK Peckerwood has some weird fetish or something. Anyway new guy is regaining consciousness on a couch when we get back to willow and he tells Kevin about some ‘special apples’ they have upstairs. Now I didn’t think Kevin was into ‘special’ stuff because he wasn’t drinking or smoking or nothing, maybe dudes just real into fruit or something. We go upstairs to raid willows golden apples. Heh. Right so after Kevin drags me out of the sex room we find them.

The way I remember it, I turned into a bear, like a literal bear. Not only that but Kevin turns into a big feet. Now I’ve done a great many psychedelics. This wasn’t any fancy designed drug nonsense. We shape shifted. So like, wtf. We pop back into people shape and run off to show witnesses. It doesn’t work again, of course. I’ll tell you what it does do though. Embiggens the shit out of goats. Now, I was pretty stoned, had eaten some mushrooms, had literally shape-shifted, and probably ate a bit too much paint. This is my reasoning for riding said goat off into the night, I did not say it was good reasoning but you know what you say. When you grab a goat by the horns …uhh ride it? What can I say, wouldn’t you?

So the goat runs off and gets eaten by the loch ness monster or something and I am trying to explain this shit to Big Ben when peckerwood retaliates for our previous break in attempt and validations. They throw a rock monster at us… a fucking rock monster! Where do you even get a rock monster? It tries to eat my face then bites Kevin’s ass clean off. Kennedy and I bag the rock in a trashcan and New guy decides now’s a good time to clean up the rest of dinner and adds the leftover chili to the mix. I leave Kennedy to deal with Kevin and run to huck the monster into the river, maybe the loch ness monster will eat it too. Then I wake up in bed and Ra wrestled with a ghost or something and now it’s morning…

I don’t know what’s going on at this creepy ass school but it’s spooky as hell and I’m going to find out. Then maybe get some more magic bear apples and kick the shit out of the mummy.

Entry 2

Entry 2
Susie and I broke up. Said we “Didn’t have a future together” since I wasn’t going to college. Said we could still talk and be friends and maybe try again later if I ever got out of here.

Fuck her, whatever. At least I’ve got a job to support myself when it comes down to it. Who even NEEDS a degree past high school.

She said she was going to be moving out of state to go to college. Whatever. Makes it easier for me to forget her. We live in fuckin middle of nowhere. I don’t see her making it out there. None of us will. No point.

Parents said I could move out into the spare building near the trinket shop if I wanted. I might take them up on it for now. They’ve been hovering. Dad’s delighted that I’m stuck here with them. Now they can continue on their ‘legacy’. Whatever, like I know half the shit they sell is a bunch of fakes. Nobody REALLY believes this shit aside from us.

Its all just a gimmick to them.


Kevin Campbell

Kevin's Journal
Entry 1-The Beginning of Forever

Entry 1?

Councelor told me to make one of these. I don’t wanna’ call it a diary, I think the better term is a journal? I don’t know, English ain’t my majoy at all. Honestly nothing is now that I think about it. Except football. But I fucked that up.

Football is over, so’s school. Don’t see the point of moving on from that right now. I’ll be picking up shifts at my parent’s tourist trap shops. Hopefully that’ll give me time to figure out what I want to do next. Maybe give everyone time to forget about my accident.

Hopefully they forget. God I hope they forget.

I’m never going to live this down am I?

I’m going to be here forever aren’t I?

Kevin Campbell

Chet Lemon

Chet came into the house through the side kitchen door laughing with his friend Kevin about one of those things that only teenagers seem to find funny. “Hey Laurie.” He said as he waved halfheartedly to his step-mother who was busy cooking something up at the stove. “Smells good, man.”
Laurie gave him a tight little smile and said “Hello boys, Chet your father is in his office, he wants to talk to you about something.”
Chet exchanged a wary glance with Kevin “Yeah? You know what he is on about?” he asked.
“Something came in the mail and got him worked up into one of his moods, you know how he gets”.
“Shit man…” Chet muttered as he tasted the sauce his step-mother was preparing on the stove.
“Language Chester!” His step-mother admonished as she swatted his hand away from the pot. “And don’t spoil your appetite, dinner will be ready soon!”
Chet exchanged grins again with Kevin and said “Go wait for me in the garage man, I’ll be right down once I deal with the old man” He and Kevin exchanged an overly-complicated handshake and Kevin headed for the garage stairs. “Thanks Laurie. Guess, I better get this over with” Chet muttered as he headed in the opposite direction, towards the stairs up.

“…and this is the last straw! I have given you chance after chance after chance…” His father yelled on and on as he stood behind his desk waving the latest rejection letter about. This would make twelve, one for each school Chet had applied to. Chet sighed as he sat in one of the plush office chairs across from his father and stared out the window, fingering the thirteenth letter in his hoodie pocket. His father’s office had a splendid view of the San Francisco Bay, with their house perched in Presidio Heights as it was. Chet watched the little boats flit back and forth across the water while container ship made its slow way towards the docks.
“Well?!” His father’s voice came crashing back in on him. “Not going to say anything for yourself?” His father asked, voice dripping with menace, as he leaned over his desk, rejection letter crushed in his hand.
Chet put on his most vacant face before looking back at his father and asking “What man?” That set him back off again and Chet went back to looking out the window letting his father’s shouts wash over him as he considered.

He felt the seal embossed on the envelope in his pocket. He hadn’t applied to Klamath College, he hadn’t even known it existed but he had been accepted there. Refused from the schools he actually applied for and accepted to one he hadn’t even heard of. The letter hadn’t come to his home either, the postman had found him hanging out with his friends in Golden Gate Park, smoking and kicking the hacky-sack around. The man had just walked up out of the trees in his postman blues and asked “Are you Chester Flynn Lemon?”. When Chet had just stared at him and nodded, he had handed over the letter and said “Congratulations” before walking back the way he had come. There was no address on the letter, just his full name and the seal of Klamath College. Chet had peered after the man, confused, until his friend had hit him with the hacky sack. The school existed though, the website was pretty much like any other university website he had seen, but with a huge bent towards human ecology. He hadn’t even heard of human ecology before today but it seemed pretty rad. And really what else did he have to lose, it was the only school that had actually accepted him.
Chet tuned back into the here and now as his father was winding down once again “…and don’t you think for a second I will support you any longer than I have to, if you throw your future and your grandfather’s trust away by not going to college you are cut-off!” The trust wouldn’t get thrown away, just donated to a charity but they were much the same to his father’s point of view.
Chet sighed and leaned forward, pulling the letter out of his sweater and tossing it on his father’s desk in front of him “I got accepted to Klamath University” he said as he leaned back in his chair. “Winter semester starts in a two months.”
“Klamath?!” His father exclaimed as he snatched up the letter “Never heard of it.” Chet went back to staring out the window as his father tore the letter out of the envelope and began to read it. His father snorted about half-way through, muttering “liberal arts…” as he continued to read. Chet smiled and watched the ships, The school had actually looked really cool, multiple greenhouses and gardens, right on the coast, a two to one girl to guy ratio, and a progressive stance on environmentalism. It was like someone had custom built it for him. He hoped for all he was worth it wasn’t some elaborate prank.
His father grunted “Huh, guess it’s better than nothing.” He said as he tossed the letter back onto his desk. “Can’t fathom why they would want a layabout like you though.” Chet looked back at his father with a sardonic smile on his face, Klamath or Humboldt or SDSU, whatever got him out of his father’s house soonest.


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